(Disclaimer: Everyone is
different and deals with these things differently. I am no doctor or
psychologist, but reading others personal journey's really helped me so I thought I'd give it a go)
The road to body image acceptance and body confidence can be a long one, and if you’re
insecure about your weight/appearance, it isn't easy. As controversial as it is to some people, regardless of weight, you should NEVER be made to feel insecure about your body. 7st or 18st. Toned or not. Never.
Since I was about between the ages of about 15-19 I was extremely
insecure about the way I looked. It all started off with
something small, and spiraled off into a toxic cycle of endless self loathing, where no part of me was
safe or respected. As I said, you name it, I didn’t like it. Including my face shape, chin,
nose, eyes and hairline to name but a few and it slowly reached my body
shape/weight. Without going too much into the dysmorphia, the endless insecurities ruled my life. They were
always on my mind, and although many people commented on my obsessive behaviour/negativity, I never really told anyone about how I felt, mainly due
to embarrassment. It affected everything from my everyday behaviour and diet to
my relationships and it really got me down. I struggled on without
seeking help for ages, which was extremely lonely and painful.
Now, a lot has changed since then. I became extremely interested in
body image and what it all meant. I started to seek out others who felt
the same or who had gone through similar fights with their body and
appearance, which solidified further my idea that A LOT of people my age
felt this way. A simple Google search brought back these horrific statistics:
- 70% of British girls aged 11-19 cite their relationship with their body their number one worry.
- One in three British girls would consider cosmetic surgery.
- Girls as young as five years old in the UK are worried about the way the look and their size.
- 90% of British women feel body-image anxiety.
I was shocked by what I found and I was determined to understand why I and so many girls (and guys)
feel like we need to constantly change our appearance in order to lead a
happy and fulfilled life and it honestly took me on a journey which
changed my life completely. I started researching the
theories which explain methods of how we construct our own body image from an early age and
how it can be influenced by a variety of external factors such as our
upbringing, our peers as well as societal ideals and pressure from the media. Through research, I began to question why so many people were made to feel this way. I realised that the problem wasn’t with me, that I wasn’t mad
and actually, I came to this 'crazy' conclusion that I didn’t need to change myself, at all. This was a confusing and scary concept, which I often doubted due to years of conditioning, but nonetheless I decided to take an active step in trying to
become more confident in myself, flaws and all. I read endless
self help books and blog posts and watched many a
YouTube video on how thousands of women across the world had also become
liberated with this realisation, documenting their journey to
confidence - without the fad diet.
Firstly, I got rid of all of the negativity from unnecessary external
influences as well as anything that I felt was clouding my judgement at the time. I quit the gym. I stopped myself from getting involved in commenting on anyone else's appearance. I ditched the diet obsessed magazines and TV
programs and I unfollowed the ‘thinspo’ Instagram/Twitter/Tumblr
accounts. I then started to put my research into action by telling myself that I
liked
loved those bits of me which I didn’t like. It sounds daft but, I
literally stared in the mirror (clothed and nakey) and looked at the ‘flaws’ in my eyes. Why didn’t I like them? Did I not like them because I'd been made to feel like I shouldn't? I also spent quite a bit of time pointing out what I did like about myself, the positives. These didn’t have
to be for purely aesthetic reasons… For example, I really like my hands, because I
have similar hands to my mum and they remind me of her. The more comfortable I became with my body,
the more I started to understand and listen to it.
I then began talking openly about body image. For example, my problem with
how many young girls are brought up to hate themselves, purely so that they will become more
obedient and submissive consumers. As well as the whole 'We'll tell you you're not good enough, but its OK, don't fear; because we sell the products which will make you better' - Its twisted genius really. I felt enlightened and I couldn't believe that I'd wasted so much of my time trying to conform to this unattainable ideal while hating myself in the process. This realisation then led me to change the way I thought. If my inner monologue ever
tried to tell me that I looked a certain negative way, I literally
fought against it. I thought to myself 'nope, not today. I feel great and
I look great'. I started to go without make up for a few days at a time and I started to put it on again for fun, because I enjoyed it - rather than as a necessity. I started to do more things I loved. When I exercised, I did it for fun, and when I ate healthily, I did it because I wanted to be healthy, not because I wanted to look
like (insert celebrity here). It all sounds so simple, but for anyone who battles with or who has battled with insecurities, these simple tasks can often feel impossible, and they started to feel possible again.
Honestly though, the more you start to do this, the happier you feel.
Once you become happier with yourself on the outside, it starts to
affect everything and everyone around you. Do you point out others
flaws in order to make yourself feel better? Do you compare
yourself to everyone? Do you feel too insecure to enjoy
the things and/or people that you love? You can stop it all. For me, it all stems from inner
happiness. Then, once you're happy with yourself and you would still like to lose weight in order to improve your
health. Go for it. Because once you’re happy with the way you are during the ‘before' phase, I can guarantee that it’ll be easier and you'll be happy regardless of the number on the scale.
For me, two years on.. I can honestly say that I have never felt so
content and happy with myself, ever. I still have off days (like everyone) but I am happy. I now roll my eyes at anyone who points out the the weight gain/loss
of a celebrity. Who cares? Not me. Every January, when a large majority
of adverts try to shove summer ‘bikini body’ tips tricks and diets down
my throat, I barely blink an eyelid. I no longer look at myself and see flaws that need altering and I
believe that there is no diet or beauty regime in the world that can
give you true confidence like self acceptance. There is so much more to me than how I look or what I weigh.
There is so much more to life.
electricfeelfashion
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